The Recession...

Shamelessly copied from the comments section of a Yahoo News story...

"Recession 

The recession has hit everybody really hard... 
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. 
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries. 

CEO's are now playing miniature golf. 
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. 

I saw a Mormon with only one wife. 

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them. 

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. 

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. 

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. 

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her! 

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico . 

A picture is now only worth 200 words. 

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. 

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. 

And, finally.... 
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck..."